Crown Her Queen...

You know I had a mini-breakdown last week. Literally the worst work week ever. My dad and I got into a little thing (I’m a huge daddy’s girl so you know that upset me alot) I’ve been frustrated with my health issues (Yall know they tried to tell me I had a tumor…AGAIN? I didn’t buy it this time) My brother’s girlfriend has been living with us and her stuff was all over the house. (that’s slight, but I had just cleaned the house so I was mad) On top of all this I’m trying to pretend to be happy and go out and whatnot. Taking care of responsibilities, helping people out etc.

I couldn’t for the life of me understand why my week was so bad. I believe in karma and you reap what you sow all that, but I literally sat and tried to think if I was doing wrong or did wrong and it was coming back on me. I always check my heart first because your intentions will always show in your actions. But I couldn’t come up with anything. 

I’ll tell you one thing though, it tested my gangster. I fought back tears in staff meetings, cried into pillows at night so noone would hear me. Put on a convincing smile in front of others. It was hard but I remembered I had to BREATHE. 

I’m an advocate for fighting for peace (oxymoron? not really) because when I say “fight” I mean more of being determined to acquire something. I hated everything about everyone a few times a day, but I said no God, I’m going to be happy. I’m tired of falling to pieces when stuff doesn’t go right. I’ve been through way too much to still be falling apart. Somebody is going to give me [back] my peace!

I’m still not thrilled about work. I shouldn’t be though, because it’s a transition. But the point is I’m gonna make it.